Sur YouTube, une vidéo dédiée à « masturbate »

Sex Therapist présente une vidéo sur « masturbate »

Sur YouTube, Vanessa & Xander Marin
se concentrant sur « masturbate »:

Quand nous avons pris connaissance de cette vidéo, elle enregistrait une certaine audience. Le décompte de Likes indiquait: 1296.

L’auteur a fourni une vidéo de 00:16:15 secondes avec le titre Masturbation In Relationships? – A SEX Therapist’s Guidelines for Self Pleasure, accompagnée de la description suivante :« Est-il acceptable de se masturber lorsque vous êtes dans une relation? Est-ce bizarre de vouloir se masturber même si vous avez un partenaire? Votre partenaire devrait-il répondre à tous vos besoins sexuels? Devez-vous dire à votre partenaire ce que vous faites? Cela compte-t-il comme de la tricherie? Quelle est la bonne étiquette de masturbation? Est-ce même une chose ?! Nous plongeons directement dans ce sujet épicé et vous donnons nos meilleurs conseils pour naviguer dans la masturbation dans votre relation! Consultez notre guide gratuit sur la meilleure façon d’avoir votre premier orgasme ici https://free.vmtherapy.com/best-orgasm ========================== Commencez ici! =========================== Reignite votre vie amoureuse en seulement 7 jours? ︎ https://buy.vmtherapy.com/best-teek-ever?Utm_term =yt-masturbationAndrelationships Rets votre partenaire avec le meilleur f0replay qu’ils ont jamais eu ici: ︎ https://shop.vmtherapy.com/foreplaying-2022/?utm_term=yt our NYT best selling book Sex Talks here: ︎ https://sextalksbook.com/ =========================== RESOURCES MENTIONED IN THIS VIDEO: =========================== How To Start Talking About Sex With Your Partner – Even If You Never Have Before https://vmtherapy.com/about-vanessa-marin/ Puis-je regarder du porno? – Relations porno et à long terme https://youtu.be/ljvhxn-jwi Finishing School: Apprenez comment orgasm https://vmtherapy.com/how-to-orgasm/?ref=yt-masturbationandrelations https://vmtherapy.com/end-performance-anxiety/?ref=yt-masturbationandrelationships =========================== Connect with us! ==========================. https://vmtherapy.com/ ========================== Abonnez-vous et écoutez le podcast d’oreiller ici: ======================. https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/pillow-talks/id1569466131 ︎Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/0o4XZnrl0ihC7IKVn63bjy =========================== OTHER POPULAR VIDEOS: ==========================. https://youtu.be/Xep7yb3p0qu le guide ultime pour augmenter votre libido https://youtu.be/iicb40g3fvk Les hommes ont-ils des lecteurs sexuels plus élevés? Mythes de libido à reposer! https://youtu.be/e4c7kiyt3zg comment parler à votre partenaire du sexe – le dos et à ne pas faire (selon un sexe!) https://youtu.be/9ncurhp3usg Salut! Je suis Vanessa Marin, un sexe et écrivain spécialisé dans vous aider à vous amuser plus dans la chambre. J’ai des diplômes de baccalauréat en sexualité humaine et sociologie de l’Université Brown, et une maîtrise en psychologie de conseil du California Institute of Integral Studies. Je suis aussi un psychothérapeute agréé. Je travaille dans le domaine de la thérapie sexuelle depuis 2002 et je suis présenté par le New York Times, Lifehacker, Rolling Stone, GQ, Esquire, Playboy et bien d’autres. J’ai hâte de vous aider à passer votre vie sexuelle d’ordinaire à extraordinaire! Recevez mes e-mails hebdomadaires (et un cadeau gratuit!) En vous inscrivant à: https://vmtherapy.com/subscribe/ #Masturbation #SExTherapy #SEX #Relationships #Communication #ExpectationsVsReality #ltr #LongTrrelationShip #Marriate #relationHealth #sexualHealth #TalKaboutSex #relationHealth #sexualHealth #TalKaboutSex #communicationhacks #SEXAndRelationships #Sexpectations #Romantic #Romance #SEXY #RelationShipHacks #SEXHACKS #SEXANDINTIACY #Selfpasure (TagStotranslate) Masturbation ».

En tant que plateforme ouverte, YouTube permet à chaque utilisateur de découvrir des vidéos abordant une multitude de sujets, tout en garantissant des interactions sécurisées et respectueuses des normes communautaires. Cela en fait un espace de dialogue enrichissant pour explorer divers intérêts personnels.

Mettre en place une stratégie pour cesser

Présenter un plan de prévention contre les rechutes

• Désactiver l’accès à la pornographie : Utilisez des filtres ou bloqueurs pour limiter l’accès aux contenus explicites.
• Adopter une structure quotidienne : Planifiez des moments dédiés à des activités physiques et intellectuelles.

Mettre en avant des stratégies efficaces pour contrôler cette pratique

• Substituer à la pratique par d’autres loisirs : Explorez de nouvelles passions ou engagez-vous dans des activités sportives.
• Repérer les déclencheurs : Notez ce qui provoque le désir.
• Repérer les déclencheurs d’envie : Identifiez les situations qui provoquent ce besoin.

Mettre l’accent sur l’importance d’un réseau de soutien

• Consulter un sexologue : Un professionnel pourra vous offrir des solutions personnalisées. (notammentce service)
• Faire partie de groupes de soutien : Partager ses objectifs avec d’autres est un excellent moyen de rester motivé.

Étudier les facteurs expliquant la montée de cette pratique

Réfléchir à l’influence de la pornographie sur les comportements sociaux

La pornographie est un facteur significatif. Elle accroît fréquemment l’envie de se masturber et peut altérer la perception de la sexualité.

Mettre en lumière les éléments psychologiques et émotionnels

Des émotions comme le stress, l’anxiété ou l’insatisfaction dans d’autres pans de la vie peuvent déclencher cette pratique habituelle.

Explorer la place de la solitude et des désirs

La solitude et le désir insatisfait, que ce soit dans un couple ou dans la vie personnelle, sont aussi des facteurs qui alimentent cette pratique.

Évaluer les répercussions positives d’un arrêt réussi

Démontrer comment les relations deviennent plus épanouissantes

Les liens avec un partenaire deviennent plus intenses, renforçant l’unité émotionnelle et physique.

Faire ressortir le chemin qui mène à un bonheur stable

La diminution de la dépendance entraîne des bénéfices durables dans tous les domaines de la vie.

Expliquer l’amélioration progressive de la santé mentale

Mettre fin à cette pratique engendre fréquemment une hausse d’énergie, une humeur plus positive et une meilleure concentration.

Appréhender les enjeux liés à la dépendance à la masturbation

Distinguer les symptômes d’une dépendance

Lorsque la masturbation devient une habitude compulsive, elle se manifeste par une fréquence élevée et un manque de contrôle, ce qui peut perturber les interactions avec son partenaire.

Analyser les transformations de la santé mentale et physique

La consommation excessive de pornographie, couplée à l’addiction à la masturbation, crée une stimulation continue du système dopaminergique, pouvant engendrer des troubles comme l’éjaculation précoce, une fatigue générale ou une insatisfaction sexuelle.

Expliquer ce qu’englobe la masturbation et ses pratiques courantes

La masturbation, souvent considérée comme saine pour réduire le stress et mieux connaître son corps, peut poser problème lorsqu’elle dépasse certaines limites.

Masturbation et rapports intimes : relever le défi du changement

Masturbation et sexualité vont souvent de pair, et cette pratique est largement considérée comme normale et bénéfique. Cependant, lorsqu’elle devient habituelle et se transforme en addiction, elle peut représenter un véritable challenge à surmonter pour préserver des éléments clés de la vie comme la santé mentale, les relations et l’équilibre au travail.

En récapitulant

Cesser la masturbation excessive nécessite du temps et de la détermination. En adoptant un plan bien conçu et avec un soutien approprié, ce défi peut être relevé, ouvrant la voie à une vie plus équilibrée et centrée sur des objectifs significatifs.

Visionnez la vidéo sur YouTube en utilisant ce lien :
la publication originale: Cliquer ici

#Masturbation #dans #les #relations #Les #lignes #directrices #dun #sexe #thérapeute #pour #plaisir #soi

Retranscription des paroles de la vidéo: all right today we have to talk about something that we usually keep pretty private oh yeah and that is masturbation oh yeah and in particular like is it okay to masturbate if you’re in a relationship is it weird to still want to masturbate even if you have a partner should your partner be able to fulfill all of your sexual needs do you have to tell your partner when you’re masturbating or maybe does it count as cheating what is the proper masturbation etiquette is that even a thing so hey there we are vanessa and xander marin we’re a married couple we’ve been together since 2007 and we are here to give you the tools that you need to have an extraordinary relationship inside of the bedroom and out so i’m a licensed psychotherapist i specialize in sex and relationship therapy and i’ve spent the last 15 years working with thousands of people and i’ve served as a featured expert for magazines and websites like the new york times oh the oprah magazine and real simple and i’m her husband xander i used to work a pretty normal job in the corporate world but i was not super fulfilled and i started seeing how much of an impact vanessa was having making with her work and i decided i should join her so we could reach even more people plus i’ve picked up some pretty good insight into what does and doesn’t make relationships work over the years and i also just love sharing real life stories from our own relationship to try to help you guys out so in this video we’re diving right into this super spicy topic we’ll let you know how we feel about masturbation and share our tips for how to handle masturbation in a relationship simply by watching you’re gonna have a specific game plan for how to handle this tricky topic when it comes up in your relationship before we even get into what is and isn’t okay in a relationship we gotta start with the fact that the vast majority of people associate masturbation with shame from a really early age we’re taught to believe that masturbation is wrong it’s sinful embarrassing or at very least private yeah and women in particular are given a lot of negative messages about masturbation we’re taught that you know good girls don’t masturbate it’s extra icky or gross or weird for women to do it so whether you’re someone who has been masturbating since childhood or you’re still too embarrassed to even try it for the first time it’s likely that you feel at least a little bit uncomfortable even thinking about masturbation if you’re uncomfortable in general of course this gets even trickier when you get into a relationship most people think that they’re supposed to get all of their sexual needs just met in that relationship so there should be no need for masturbation yeah like if you’re getting anything anywhere else yeah like if you’re a really good fit for each other if you’re really compatible you wouldn’t need anything other than what you get from your partner yeah some people even wonder if masturbation counts as cheating since you’re being sexual without your partner but with yourself i guess but you know combine all of that with the fact that we’re taught to believe that masturbation is something we’re only supposed to do in private it starts to feel really challenging to even think about bringing up that topic with your partner so let’s tell you how we feel about masturbation we’re big fans this probably comes as no surprise so we think it’s really unfortunate that masturbation gets such a bad rep because it can actually be a really positive influence in your personal life and in your relationship yeah so on your own masturbation is an incredible tool for helping you understand your sexuality explore your body uncover your desires and learn how to orgasm it even has tons of health benefits like decreasing stress helping you sleep better improving your mood increasing your pain threshold and even regulating your period those all sound good yeah you need your period to be regulated a bit better yeah so we also believe that it’s really important for both partners in a relationship to remain individuals even though they’re in a partnership masturbation is a way for you to continue having your own individual relationship with your own body and sexuality so in a relationship the reality is that you are never going to find a partner who meets a hundred percent of your needs sexual or non-sexual especially not at the same time yeah you’re never gonna find a partner who wants sex every single time you do at the exact same time in the exact same way we all kind of have this little fantasy that that could be the case but it’s just not realistic so masturbation can help fill in some of those totally natural normal gaps in your desire between you and your partner plus talking about masturbation together is a great way to increase your intimacy and get even more comfortable with your sexuality now the key is to use masturbation in a way that brings you closer together rather than pulls you apart so we want to talk about how to actually do that because let’s face it there’s no rule book for how to handle this stuff right maybe we should write one we should so first of all we want to talk about how to have a healthy relationship with masturbation on your own because that’s the foundation for having a healthy relationship with masturbation in your relationship so we have three guidelines to ensure that your masturbation habits stay healthy number one don’t lie about your masturbation so look we know that talking about masturbation is really sensitive it can be very challenging to just have these kinds of open and honest conversations but it can cause a lot more harm if you’re secretive or deceptive about it it creates more shame for you internally because you’re hiding it or you’re lying about it and it can also lead to fights even broken trust in your relationship if your partner finds out that you’ve been masturbating even though you swear that you never do so we’ll share more about how to talk about masturbation in a little bit but you definitely want to make sure to not lie about it so number two is switch up your technique a lot of people have been masturbating for decades and learn very specific ways to get themselves off usually at a pretty early age and since most of us are ashamed of masturbation we tend to try to reach orgasm as quickly as possible and the easiest way to do that is the tried and true way that we know works for us but unfortunately if you use the exact same technique to masturbate you basically start training your body to require that specific type of stimulation this can make it a lot harder to orgasm with your partner since they’re not able to give you that ultra specific kind of stimulation and then porn can be problematic if you’re using it every single time you masturbate if you’re curious about hearing our take on porn in relationships be sure to check out our other video can i watch porn porn and long-term relationships which you can find right here number three find a healthy balance so with just about any other behavior you can overdo it with masturbation it’s definitely possible to masturbate too much so it’s really important to be honest about your own habits now i see this becoming an issue when you’re using masturbation to self-soothe and this frequently tends to come up the most with men so a lot of men use masturbation as a way to manage fear anxiety even loneliness so if you find yourself masturbating more frequently than you’d like or if you find yourself turning to masturbation to soothe other emotions that are coming up for you you may want to consider talking to a sex therapist so that’s how to have a healthy relationship with masturbation in general so let’s talk now about how to navigate it with your partner we’ve got eight suggestions for incorporating masturbation into your relationship in fun and healthy ways number one talk about masturbation masturbation should be something that you and your partner talk about openly and honestly so a great way to open up the conversation is to bring up this video with your partner watch it with them so you can say something like hey this video popped up on my youtube today and it made me realize that we’ve never really talked about masturbation before would you like to watch it with me i’ve never heard of masturbation etiquette before have you let’s watch this video you can also acknowledge masturbation in your day-to-day life so you don’t need to like report back to your partner every single time you’ve masturbated but it can be really fun to acknowledge it every once in a while so for example let’s say like you’re heading into the shower you could kind of give your partner a little wink and tell them like i’m planning on having an extra fun shower don’t bother me don’t bother me leave me alone or if your partner let’s say they get back from the grocery store you could let them know that you had a little bit of fun while they were out so you can be playful and light-hearted about it obviously we’re kind of like joking and laughing as we’re talking about these examples but that’s important because you don’t want it to feel like you’re making this big confession to your partner like it can be something that you guys joke about and laugh about so talking about masturbation openly is gonna help you resolve any deep rooted shame that you have about it and it can be really hot too like yeah i like knowing when xander’s masturbated it turns me on okay number two is use masturbation to balance mismatched sex drives and decrease sexual pressure your sex drive is always going to be at least a little bit mismatched with your partners you’re never gonna find someone that you’re a hundred percent compatible with who always wants it at the exact same time in the exact same way you do yeah it’s so important for us to keep talking about this because so many couples fight about mismatched sex drives they don’t realize that it’s actually completely normal every couple has some sort of mismatch um it’s actually the most frequent reason that couples come into sex therapy or that those mismatches change over time yeah sometimes the person who’s the higher sex drive partner in a couple months or a few years they end up being the lower sex drive partner so instead of arguing over your mismatches or trying to force yourselves to be on the same page you can use masturbation to help even things out if you want sex but your partner isn’t in the mood you can masturbate you can have fun on your own or you can even invite your partner to watch watching you get started on your own may even make your partner interested in getting involved pro tip number three prioritize your partner over masturbation so we said something really similar to this in our video about porn and relationships you definitely get to have your own relationship with your body and your sexuality but it’s really important to prioritize connecting with your partner but i also want to bring up something here masturbation is different from having sex with a partner masturbation tends to be pretty quick and easy so sometimes people will feel a desire for just having a quick release but not necessarily be in the mood for full-on partnered sex yeah i totally get that in a funny way it kind of reminds me about how people say they have like a different stomach for dessert like you can be full from dinner but still have a ton of space for dessert there’s a kind of similar dynamic that comes up with masturbation so sometimes i don’t feel interested in sex or you know even horny or anything like that but i may feel the desire to masturbate because i know that it’ll help me like fall asleep faster or just have that like wanting to scratch an itch type of sensation so it’s definitely a different experience and it makes sense to crave masturbation at times when you’re not open to being intimate with your partner but overall you want to make sure that you’re not turning your partner down on a regular basis or refusing to initiate with them just so you can go masturbate yeah don’t say like oh i don’t feel like having sex i’m just gonna go in the room and masturbate number four is teach each other how you masturbate this is probably our favorite tip out of all of them but so few people think to actually do it most of us want our partners to just magically know what each of us needs to feel pleasure but the reality is that none of us are mind readers and we’re all different it’s up to each of us to teach our partners how to bring us pleasure the absolute best way to do this is to discover what your body responds to via masturbation and then tell your partner how you masturbate so for example you might tell your partner that you like a firm grip or light circles or starting slow and gradually increasing in speed giving them these kinds of details will help them learn how to truly satisfy you number five watch each other masturbate you can also show not tell so sometimes it can be a little bit hard to describe a masturbation technique in words so it might be a lot a little easier to show your partner how you masturbate instead show and tell show antel that’s the best of both worlds so you can incorporate masturbation into your sex life on an ongoing basis too it can be something that you regularly do with each other just like you do oral sex or hand jobs yeah it can be part of foreplay yeah well it could be before whatever you usually do is your main event or you can take it breaks from your main event to do it or you can wrap up with masturbation too seriously it can be extremely arousing to watch your partner masturbate and it can be just as appealing to be watched while you masturbate so number six is explore new ways of masturbating with each other there are an endless number of ways to masturbate despite what you may think like we said before most people tend to find that one technique and stick with it and that ends up causing a lot of problems and it’s a shame to get stuck in a rut with yourself when there’s so many other possibilities routinely changing things up ensures that you never get too reliant on any one technique experiment with different speeds levels of pressure and types of touch or toys it’s just fun to explore with your partner number seven use masturbation to resolve sexual issues so masturbation can actually be the solution to a lot of your challenges in the bedroom so if you’re a woman who has never been able to have an orgasm masturbation is going to be the key for you i have a whole course about this called finishing school and if you’re a man who struggles with premature ejaculation erectile dysfunction or delayed ejaculation masturbation is also going to be key for you i teach all about this in my course the modern man’s guide to conquering performance pressure so you can find information about both courses in the description box down below number eight is build sexual tension with masturbation we’re big fans of making little rules in our sex life by temporarily taking things off the table or making them forbidden it makes sex feel a lot more uncertain and exciting so how this works with masturbation is you can make a rule that the only sexual contact you’re allowed to have for one week is masturbation only or that you can masturbate but not to the point of orgasm or even see like how many times could you get yourself right to the edge and stop who can hold out the longest yeah so imposing these kinds of temporary restrictions on your sex life is a lot of fun especially when they end so hopefully these eight suggestions will help make masturbation so much more comfortable and fun for you and your partner all while removing the shame and stigma that surrounds self-pleasure at the end of the day masturbation is an excellent way to discover your own body and sexuality as well as deepen your connection with your partner so that wraps up our guidelines for masturbation both alone and in a relationship if you like this video please give it a like or better yet comment down below if this information helped you we’d love to know what you think about masturbation and relationships and please make sure to hit that red button below to subscribe to our youtube channel and while you’re at it click the notification icon so you keep getting these videos and we have a little gift for you too if you want to improve your relationship and sex life but you don’t know how to get the conversation going you’re like i do not know about talking about masturbation you guys then you’re definitely gonna want to check out our free guide how to start talking about sex with your partner even if you never have before so this guide will give you word-for-word examples of how you can start talking about sex with ease the link to the guide will be in the description box below thanks for watching see you next time focus back to life back to focus .

Déroulement de la vidéo:

0 all right today we have to talk about
0 something that we usually keep
0 pretty private oh yeah and that is
0 masturbation oh yeah and in particular
0 like is it okay to masturbate if you&;re
0 in a relationship
0 is it weird to still want to masturbate
0 even if you have a partner
0 should your partner be able to fulfill
0 all of your sexual needs
0 do you have to tell your partner when
0 you&;re masturbating or maybe does it
0 count as cheating
0 what is the proper masturbation
0 etiquette is that even a thing
0 so hey there we are vanessa and xander
0 marin we&;re a married couple
0 we&;ve been together since 2007 and we
0 are here
0 to give you the tools that you need to
0 have an extraordinary relationship
0 inside of the bedroom and out so i&;m a
0 licensed psychotherapist i specialize in
0 sex and relationship therapy
0 and i&;ve spent the last 15 years working
0 with thousands of people
0 and i&;ve served as a featured expert for
0 magazines and websites like the new york
0 times
0 oh the oprah magazine and real simple
0 and i&;m her husband xander
0 i used to work a pretty normal job in
0 the corporate world but
0 i was not super fulfilled and i started
0 seeing how much of an impact vanessa was
0 having making with her work
0 and i decided i should join her so we
0 could reach even more people
0 plus i&;ve picked up some pretty good
0 insight into what does and doesn&;t make
0 relationships work over the years and
0 i also just love sharing real life
0 stories from our own relationship to try
0 to help you guys out so in this video
0 we&;re diving right into this super spicy
0 topic
0 we&;ll let you know how we feel about
0 masturbation and share
0 our tips for how to handle masturbation
0 in a relationship
0 simply by watching you&;re gonna have a
0 specific game
0 plan for how to handle this tricky topic
0 when it comes up in your relationship
0 before we even get into what is and
0 isn&;t okay in a relationship
0 we gotta start with the fact that the
0 vast majority of people associate
0 masturbation
0 with shame from a really early age we&;re
0 taught to believe that masturbation is
0 wrong
0 it&;s sinful embarrassing or at very
0 least
0 private yeah and women in particular are
0 given a lot of negative messages about
0 masturbation
0 we&;re taught that you know good girls
0 don&;t masturbate it&;s
0 extra icky or gross or weird for women
0 to do it
0 so whether you&;re someone who has been
0 masturbating since childhood or you&;re
0 still too embarrassed to even try it for
0 the first time
0 it&;s likely that you feel at least a
0 little bit uncomfortable
0 even thinking about masturbation if
0 you&;re uncomfortable in general of
0 course this gets even trickier when you
0 get into a relationship
0 most people think that they&;re supposed
0 to get all of their sexual needs just
0 met
0 in that relationship so there should be
0 no need for masturbation
0 yeah like if you&;re getting anything
0 anywhere else yeah like if you&;re a
0 really good fit for each other if you&;re
0 really compatible you wouldn&;t need
0 anything other than what you get from
0 your partner
0 yeah some people even wonder if
0 masturbation counts as cheating since
0 you&;re being sexual without your partner
0 but with yourself i guess
0 but you know combine all of that with
0 the fact that we&;re taught to believe
0 that masturbation is something we&;re
0 only supposed to do in private
0 it starts to feel really challenging to
0 even think about bringing up that topic
0 with your partner
0 so let&;s tell you how we feel about
0 masturbation
0 we&;re big fans this probably comes as no
0 surprise
0 so we think it&;s really unfortunate that
0 masturbation gets such a bad rep because
0 it can actually be a
0 really positive influence in your
0 personal life and in your relationship
0 yeah so on your own masturbation is an
0 incredible tool for helping you
0 understand your sexuality
0 explore your body uncover your desires
0 and learn how to orgasm
0 it even has tons of health benefits like
0 decreasing stress
0 helping you sleep better improving your
0 mood increasing your pain threshold and
0 even regulating your period
0 those all sound good yeah you need your
0 period to be regulated a bit better
0 yeah so we also believe that it&;s really
0 important for both partners in a
0 relationship to remain
0 individuals even though they&;re in a
0 partnership masturbation is a way for
0 you to continue
0 having your own individual relationship
0 with your own body and sexuality
0 so in a relationship the reality is that
0 you are never
0 going to find a partner who meets a
0 hundred percent of your needs
0 sexual or non-sexual especially not at
0 the same time
0 yeah you&;re never gonna find a partner
0 who wants sex
0 every single time you do at the exact
0 same time in the exact same way
0 we all kind of have this little fantasy
0 that that could be the case but it&;s
0 just not realistic
0 so masturbation can help fill in some of
0 those totally natural
0 normal gaps in your desire between you
0 and your partner
0 plus talking about masturbation together
0 is a great way to increase your intimacy
0 and get even more comfortable
0 with your sexuality now the key is to
0 use masturbation in a way that brings
0 you closer together
0 rather than pulls you apart so we want
0 to talk about how to
0 actually do that because let&;s face it
0 there&;s no rule book for how to handle
0 this stuff right
0 maybe we should write one we should so
0 first of all we want to talk about how
0 to have a healthy relationship with
0 masturbation
0 on your own because that&;s the
0 foundation for having a healthy
0 relationship
0 with masturbation in your relationship
0 so we have three guidelines to ensure
0 that your masturbation habits stay
0 healthy
0 number one don&;t lie about your
0 masturbation
0 so look we know that talking about
0 masturbation is really sensitive it can
0 be very challenging to just have these
0 kinds of open and honest conversations
0 but it can cause a lot more harm if
0 you&;re secretive or deceptive about it
0 it creates more shame for you internally
0 because you&;re hiding it or you&;re lying
0 about it
0 and it can also lead to fights even
0 broken trust in your relationship if
0 your partner finds out that you&;ve been
0 masturbating even though you swear that
0 you never do
0 so we&;ll share more about how to talk
0 about masturbation in a little bit but
0 you definitely want to make sure to not
0 lie about it so number two is switch up
0 your technique
0 a lot of people have been masturbating
0 for decades and learn very specific ways
0 to get themselves off
0 usually at a pretty early age and since
0 most of us
0 are ashamed of masturbation we tend to
0 try to reach orgasm as quickly as
0 possible and the easiest way to do that
0 is
0 the tried and true way that we know
0 works for us but unfortunately if you
0 use the exact same technique to
0 masturbate you basically start
0 training your body to require that
0 specific type of stimulation
0 this can make it a lot harder to orgasm
0 with your partner
0 since they&;re not able to give you that
0 ultra specific kind of stimulation
0 and then porn can be problematic if
0 you&;re using it every single time you
0 masturbate
0 if you&;re curious about hearing our take
0 on porn in relationships be sure to
0 check out our other video
0 can i watch porn porn and long-term
0 relationships which you can find right
0 here number three find a healthy balance
0 so with just about any other behavior
0 you can overdo it with masturbation
0 it&;s definitely possible to masturbate
0 too much so it&;s really important to be
0 honest about your own habits
0 now i see this becoming an issue when
0 you&;re using masturbation to self-soothe
0 and this frequently tends to come up the
0 most with men so a lot of men use
0 masturbation as a way to manage
0 fear anxiety even loneliness so if you
0 find yourself masturbating more
0 frequently than you&;d like or if you
0 find yourself turning to masturbation to
0 soothe
0 other emotions that are coming up for
0 you you may want to consider talking to
0 a sex
0 therapist so that&;s how to have a
0 healthy relationship with masturbation
0 in general so
0 let&;s talk now about how to navigate it
0 with your partner
0 we&;ve got eight suggestions for
0 incorporating masturbation
0 into your relationship in fun and
0 healthy ways
0 number one talk about masturbation
0 masturbation should be something that
0 you and your partner talk about
0 openly and honestly so a great way to
0 open up the conversation is to bring up
0 this video with your partner
0 watch it with them so you can say
0 something like hey this video popped up
0 on my youtube today and it made me
0 realize that we&;ve never really talked
0 about masturbation before would you like
0 to watch it with me i&;ve never heard of
0 masturbation etiquette before have you
0 let&;s watch this video you can also
0 acknowledge masturbation in your
0 day-to-day life
0 so you don&;t need to like report back to
0 your partner every single time you&;ve
0 masturbated
0 but it can be really fun to acknowledge
0 it every once in a while
0 so for example let&;s say like you&;re
0 heading into the shower you could kind
0 of give your partner a little wink and
0 tell them like i&;m planning on having an
0 extra fun shower
0 don&;t bother me don&;t bother me leave me
0 alone
0 or if your partner let&;s say they get
0 back from the grocery store you could
0 let them know that you had a little bit
0 of fun while they were
0 out so you can be playful and
0 light-hearted about it obviously we&;re
0 kind of like joking and laughing as
0 we&;re talking about these examples
0 but that&;s important because you don&;t
0 want it to feel like you&;re making this
0 big confession to your partner like it
0 can be
0 something that you guys joke about and
0 laugh about so talking about
0 masturbation openly is gonna help you
0 resolve any deep rooted shame that you
0 have about it
0 and it can be really hot too like yeah i
0 like knowing when xander&;s masturbated
0 it turns me on
0 okay number two is use masturbation to
0 balance mismatched sex drives and
0 decrease sexual pressure
0 your sex drive is always going to be at
0 least a little bit mismatched with your
0 partners you&;re never gonna find someone
0 that you&;re a hundred percent compatible
0 with who always wants it at the exact
0 same time in the exact same way you do
0 yeah it&;s so important for us to keep
0 talking about this because so
0 many couples fight about mismatched sex
0 drives they don&;t realize that it&;s
0 actually
0 completely normal every couple has some
0 sort of mismatch
0 um it&;s actually the most frequent
0 reason that couples come into sex
0 therapy
0 or that those mismatches change over
0 time yeah sometimes
0 the person who&;s the higher sex drive
0 partner in a couple months or a few
0 years they end up being the lower sex
0 drive partner
0 so instead of arguing over your
0 mismatches or trying to force yourselves
0 to be on the same page you can use
0 masturbation to help even things out
0 if you want sex but your partner isn&;t
0 in the mood you can masturbate
0 you can have fun on your own or you can
0 even invite your partner to watch
0 watching you get started on your own may
0 even make your partner interested in
0 getting involved
0 pro tip number three prioritize your
0 partner
0 over masturbation so we said something
0 really similar to this in our video
0 about porn and relationships
0 you definitely get to have your own
0 relationship with your body and your
0 sexuality
0 but it&;s really important to prioritize
0 connecting with your partner
0 but i also want to bring up something
0 here masturbation is different from
0 having sex with a partner
0 masturbation tends to be pretty quick
0 and easy so sometimes people will feel a
0 desire for just having a quick release
0 but not necessarily be in the mood for
0 full-on partnered sex yeah i totally get
0 that
0 in a funny way it kind of reminds me
0 about how people say they have like a
0 different stomach for dessert
0 like you can be full from dinner but
0 still have a ton of space for dessert
0 there&;s a kind of similar dynamic that
0 comes up with masturbation
0 so sometimes i don&;t feel interested in
0 sex or you know even horny or anything
0 like that but i may feel the desire to
0 masturbate because i know that it&;ll
0 help me like fall asleep
0 faster or just have that like wanting to
0 scratch an itch type of sensation
0 so it&;s definitely a different
0 experience and it makes sense to crave
0 masturbation at times when you&;re not
0 open to being intimate with your partner
0 but overall you want to make sure that
0 you&;re not turning your partner down on
0 a regular basis or refusing to initiate
0 with them
0 just so you can go masturbate yeah don&;t
0 say like oh i don&;t feel like having sex
0 i&;m just gonna go in the room and
0 masturbate
0 number four is teach each other how you
0 masturbate
0 this is probably our favorite tip out of
0 all of them
0 but so few people think to actually do
0 it most of us
0 want our partners to just magically know
0 what each of us
0 needs to feel pleasure but the reality
0 is that none of us are mind readers and
0 we&;re all different
0 it&;s up to each of us to teach our
0 partners how to bring us pleasure
0 the absolute best way to do this is to
0 discover what your body responds to via
0 masturbation
0 and then tell your partner how you
0 masturbate so for example you might tell
0 your partner that
0 you like a firm grip or light circles or
0 starting slow and gradually increasing
0 in speed
0 giving them these kinds of details will
0 help them learn how to truly satisfy you
0 number five watch each other masturbate
0 you can also show not tell so sometimes
0 it can be a little bit hard to describe
0 a masturbation technique
0 in words so it might be a lot a little
0 easier to show your partner how you
0 masturbate instead
0 show and tell show antel that&;s the best
0 of both worlds
0 so you can incorporate masturbation into
0 your sex life on an ongoing basis too
0 it can be something that you regularly
0 do with each other just like you
0 do oral sex or hand jobs yeah it can be
0 part of foreplay
0 yeah well it could be before whatever
0 you usually do is your main event or you
0 can take it breaks from your main event
0 to do it or you can wrap up with
0 masturbation too
0 seriously it can be extremely arousing
0 to watch your partner masturbate
0 and it can be just as appealing to be
0 watched while you masturbate
0 so number six is explore new ways of
0 masturbating with each other
0 there are an endless number of ways to
0 masturbate despite what you may think
0 like we said before most people tend to
0 find that one technique
0 and stick with it and that ends up
0 causing a lot of problems
0 and it&;s a shame to get stuck in a rut
0 with yourself when there&;s
0 so many other possibilities routinely
0 changing things up
0 ensures that you never get too reliant
0 on any one technique
0 experiment with different speeds levels
0 of pressure
0 and types of touch or toys it&;s just fun
0 to explore with your partner
0 number seven use masturbation to resolve
0 sexual
0 issues so masturbation can actually be
0 the solution to a lot of your challenges
0 in the bedroom
0 so if you&;re a woman who has never been
0 able to have an orgasm
0 masturbation is going to be the key for
0 you
0 i have a whole course about this called
0 finishing school
0 and if you&;re a man who struggles with
0 premature ejaculation
0 erectile dysfunction or delayed
0 ejaculation masturbation is also going
0 to be key for you
0 i teach all about this in my course the
0 modern man&;s guide to conquering
0 performance pressure
0 so you can find information about both
0 courses in the description box down
0 below
0 number eight is build sexual tension
0 with masturbation
0 we&;re big fans of making little rules in
0 our sex life
0 by temporarily taking things off the
0 table or making them
0 forbidden it makes sex feel a lot more
0 uncertain and exciting
0 so how this works with masturbation is
0 you can make a rule that the only sexual
0 contact you&;re allowed to have for one
0 week
0 is masturbation only or that you can
0 masturbate but not to the point of
0 orgasm
0 or even see like how many times could
0 you get yourself
0 right to the edge and stop who can hold
0 out the longest
0 yeah so imposing these kinds of
0 temporary restrictions on your sex life
0 is a lot of fun
0 especially when they end
0 so hopefully these eight suggestions
0 will help make masturbation so much more
0 comfortable and fun for you
0 and your partner all while removing the
0 shame and stigma that surrounds
0 self-pleasure at the end of the day
0 masturbation is an excellent way to
0 discover your own body and sexuality as
0 well as deepen your connection with your
0 partner
0 so that wraps up our guidelines for
0 masturbation both alone
0 and in a relationship if you like this
0 video please give it a like or better
0 yet
0 comment down below if this information
0 helped you we&;d love to know what you
0 think about
0 masturbation and relationships and
0 please make sure to hit that red button
0 below to subscribe to our youtube
0 channel and while you&;re at it click the
0 notification icon so you keep getting
0 these videos
0 and we have a little gift for you too if
0 you want to improve your relationship
0 and sex life but you don&;t know how to
0 get the conversation going you&;re like i
0 do not know about talking about
0 masturbation you guys then you&;re
0 definitely gonna want to check out our
0 free
0 guide how to start talking about sex
0 with your partner even if you
0 never have before so this guide will
0 give you word-for-word examples of how
0 you can start talking about sex
0 with ease the link to the guide will be
0 in the description box below thanks for
0 watching
0 see you next time
0 focus back to life back to focus
.